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ClayManiacs.com  |  Archive  |  Media & Appearance Archive  |  Writer's Corner - Fan Essays  |  8/24/04 California Girl: Job Hunting
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Author Topic: 8/24/04 California Girl: Job Hunting  (Read 6000 times)

Marilyn

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8/24/04 California Girl: Job Hunting
« on: April 28, 2010, 11:43:02 PM »
Pamela
Assistant Webmaster
California Girl: Job Hunting
« on: August 24, 2004, 11:39:31 PM »   

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JOB HUNTING
 
By California Girl

I adjusted my headphones and listened, for the fifth time to Clay Aiken’s recording of “The Way”. And after that it would by my favorite, “Solitaire.” I hunkered down in my chair.

I’m sitting there half asleep in the unemployment office, trying not to nod off, waiting for the line to get smaller, or disappear altogether. I dropped the earphones to my neck and looked at the passing parade of job seekers through bleary eyes and wondered, “I guess if you were an accountant, you’re looking for an accounting job. And if you’re a physicist, you want to continue with that kind of work. But what if you were just an office clerk, and sat around answering phones, and filing stuff alphabetically? And when it got really slow you had time to do a whole manicure, or re-apply all your make-up? Is that what I would be applying for? Office clerk? I was let go because the Boss had a daughter that just graduated from High School and had decided not to go to college, so Office Clerk was better than having her sit in front of the television watching E, or worse, MTV, only there was a television in the office and she could watch it there. I dreamily thought about other things I could do, wanted to do, when I looked up and saw a sign on the wall that said, “Apply here for employment with Clay Aiken Group.”

Something zinged in my brain, and there was a loud explosion, which no one seemed to hear but me, and I was suddenly shooting little rainbow-colored arrows out from my body in all directions. I rubbed my eyes, and looked around suspiciously, but people were just standing around like this was an ordinary day, and there was nobody on the “apply here” line!

NOBODY!

I went to the window, and there was a sweet, smiling lady facing me.

”May I help you?” she asked, sweetly.

At first, when I opened my mouth no sound came out. I’m sure I was screaming, “I want that job. I want that job!” but I couldn’t hear myself, and apparently neither could that sweet, smiling lady.

”Did you say something?” she asked, oh-so-sweetly.

I struggled with my throat muscles, and could feel beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead.

”I-would-like-to-apply-for-that-job,” I said, very slowly and enunciating very clearly. I pointed to the sign. She looked, and smiled a tad less sweet.

”That job? Oh yes, of course.”

I caught my breath and began to feel dizzy.

”You mean.... you mean it’s still open?”

”Yes. You’re interested then. I will need to ask your qualifications, and this will require a few questions.”

”Oh sure. Ask away, but you may as well know I’m over 21 and an American citizen. Are there other requirements?”

”Well…a few. We’ll need to know what experience....”

I cut her off with a psychotic laugh, and a gesture that made her jump back a little.

”Experience...have I got experience! I’m probably the most experienced person that you will ever meet...my experience goes back to...uh, what kind of experience exactly?”

She offered me another sweet smile, into which a little suspicion had crept.

”I’m talking about show business experience. Is that your field?”

Drums were beating in my ears, and a roaring sound made me think there was an ocean nearby about to engulf me. Had I found the magic door to Clay heaven? Could this mean no more ‘Dugan’ after ‘Dandridge’. No longer ‘Good morning. Schlober and Schimmel, how may I help you?’ Was I actually hearing the handcuffs and ankle chains snapping open?

I dredged up my heartiest and most sincere voice, “Show business...hey, I was born in a trunk...you’re familiar with that old vaudeville phrase, right? I’ve danced the dance...sang the songs...emoted with the best of them...uh, just what kind of experience are you talkin’ about?”

”Well, are you good with animals?”

”Oh, my God. I have a daschund, and a beagle...a bird...wait...the snake ate it.  Are you lookin’ for a breeder?”  My confusion in no way diminished my enthusiasm. My smiling lady seemed less interested, which made me more desperate. She was flipping through papers. Ye Gods, didn’t she realize how close I was to jumping across that counter?

”Was there a special animal?” I began, desperately.

”Have you done any dog walking?”

”Dog walking?” I was trying to control the scream in my voice. “I walk my dogs all the time...three miles...sometimes five...depending on how they feel.”

”What about publicity? Have you ever written any ads or publicity notices?”

My mind flooded with the hundreds of posts I had made to Clay Aiken websites, the poems created, the songs written, the angry diatribes against cruel reviewers and DJs...the sonnets...the streams and streams of ecstatic articles of adoration and endless scribes describing Clay’s glory note, his gestures, his smile, those green eyes and my endless and exhausting love for him. I recalled my insanities, sitting at my computer, far into the night, writing things like, “Why I Think Clay Aiken Should Sing Songs From the Forties,” “Clay Almost Touched Me,” “I Had an Unforgettable Clay Aiken Experience.” And all those times I waited for someone...anyone to acknowledge my gift to the world...my voice to the great ‘out there’ in computer cyberspace. Although it made no difference to me if I was not recognized. The writing and the intensity went on, adding every download of every song from every concert, then watching and listening into the wee hours of the morning.

Have you ever written?  Was she crazy? This was one question I could answer honestly.

”I want you to know that I am a writer.” I replied, with calm but shaky voice.

”And stage lighting. What is your experience with that?” Now there was more than suspicion on that sweet face, there was a kind of coldness that made her suddenly look like she was standing on a block of ice.

I was stumped, but only for a moment. My mind captured a memory of our local playhouse, and I volunteered to help with painting sets. There was great consternation when an overhead stage light blew out, and no one could find it’s color filer replacement and I suggested we put my blue chiffon scarf over it to add to the mood and intensity of the scene.

My eyes never wavered when I looked at her and said, “Well, I have assisted in the art of lighting design.”

The lady put up her hand and curled her forefinger a few times. Some big galoot appeared and he looked to be about seven feet tall.

”Yeah, Mabel?”

”Just hang around for a minute, will ya?”

Mr. Godzilla looked at me, then clasped his hands in front of him, and dug his feet into the ground. Mabel smiled that sweet smile again and said, “Well now, let’s see, you’ve walked dogs, you’re a writer, your a whiz at lighting design, you’re an American and you’re over 21. Is that right?”

”Absolutely.” I breathed. And I could see so clearly the doors to my life opening and Clay standing there with is arms outstretched to me, and that incredible smile on his face, his eyes as green as the sea, sparkling with joy. I could see him greeting me with a song...probably, “This is the Night.” For the first time in my life I was in the right place at the right time, the gods were smiling, and I was going to walk his dog...or maybe work with his musical director? Set designer?  It could be they needed me to help with writing publicity. I couldn’t be a bodyguard, but I had a bruiser of a brother, so maybe he could substitute...whatever they had in mind.

”Miss, have you ever worked for a circus before?”

It took a while for me to come down from Clay Aiken heaven. I looked at Mabel.

”Circus?”

”Yeah...you know, ..lions, and tigers, and bears.”

”What has Clay to do with lions and tigers and bears?” I laughed.

She said, “Who?”

”Clay Aiken”

Mabel and Godzilla exchanged glances. Then Mabel said, “Did you read the sign?”

”Of course I read the sign.  It says, “Apply here for employment with Clay Aiken Group.”

Mabel smiled sweetly.

”Read it again.”

I looked, and it said, “Apply here for employment with Cray Laiken Troupe.”

I rubbed the last of the sleep out of my eyes and forced a little smile like I knew all along it was some kind of circus troupe, and I was just putting her on. I have a feeling she didn’t believe me.

”Circus...well, that’s pretty funny. Is that considered show business too?”

”Yes indeed.” Mabel replied

Goodbye Clay...goodbye ‘walkin’ the dog’, goodbye intimate moments with Clay singing “This is the Night” in my ear, goodbye my happy, rainbow-colored dream.  Got to brush up on that alphabet, and modulate your phone greeting voice.

I turned back to that sweet, smiling lady.

”Well, I guess I’ll be going. I have to find a job and it’s getting late.”

Then I got an idea. I turned to Mabel once again, while the big guy leaned in.

”Listen…..do they need anyone to clean out those cages?”
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Any email for The California Girl may be sent through me at pamela@claymaniacs.com 

Copyright 2004 The California Girl. Printed with the permission of the writer.
ALWAYS AND FOREVER-UNCONDITIONALLY!!!

Marilyn

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Re: 8/24/04 California Girl: Job Hunting
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2010, 11:47:41 PM »
quynn
CALIFORNIA GIRL: JOB HUNTING
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2004, 09:24:40 AM »   

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Loved it!   
ALWAYS AND FOREVER-UNCONDITIONALLY!!!

Marilyn

  • ANN News Team
  • Claymaniac
  • *****
  • Posts: 42046
  • Gender: Female
  • THE EPITOME OF DECORUM
Re: 8/24/04 California Girl: Job Hunting
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2010, 11:48:11 PM »
Moonshot
Administrator
CALIFORNIA GIRL: JOB HUNTING
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2004, 10:54:24 AM »   

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This was definitely something I can relate to right now! I loved it. Thanks.
ALWAYS AND FOREVER-UNCONDITIONALLY!!!

ClayManiacs.com  |  Archive  |  Media & Appearance Archive  |  Writer's Corner - Fan Essays  |  8/24/04 California Girl: Job Hunting
 

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